Wassup n' Shit?: Cap'n Bitcheyes' Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Cap'n Bitcheyes' Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Oh shit, muthafuckers! It's me, it's me - ol' Cap'n B! I've done ev'ything there is to do in fantasy rasslin', from holdin' the Intercontinational Championship to bein' specifically chosen to join the Tag Team Champion and be a co-defender of the titles. Titles which we held until that dumbass fucked shit up and lost 'em for us. Anyway, I been the goddamn Champion of the World n' shit as well! Won that bitch in a battle royal and beat like, 17 or 23 other muthafuckers!

So, with nothing left to prove, I decided to venture into the world of managing, something I intend to do with as much gusto as when I fucked your mom! Take a look to the right side of the page n' you'll see my stable of muthafuckers that are gonna kick your damn ass!

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My Accolades n' Shit

First Ever Intercontinational Champion
Won in a tournament on Dec. 10, 2008.
Lost through some bullshit on Dec. 17, 2008

World's muthafuckin' Champeeen!
I won this bitch on Jan. 7 of 2009 and lost it (due to some political bullshit and chicanery) on Jan. 28 of the same year.

Syndicate Tag-Team Championship
Oh shit! Koschei the Deathless won the belts on Jan 14, 2009 but was without a partner. Who do you think he chose? Me, me, me - El Capitan B! We held the belts until the 21st, when that motherfucker loused up the whole deal and lost 'em for us.